I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
