did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize