id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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