he thought i was a dude.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
