Don't you send me to vm
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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