I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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