I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
