Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
