you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
