Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
