i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i out mim tonsoeep
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
