well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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