we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
