it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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