He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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