he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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