Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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