just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
