dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize