so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
