Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
