the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
