This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
