okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize