Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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