so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
