Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
