hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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