I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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