Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
