so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You smell like stripper and shame
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
