At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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