I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
