This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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