Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
