What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
