i permit you to call me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
