Dual....:-)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
