if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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