Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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