I wish i was in the wii world.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
