I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
PANTIES FOUND
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
