i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
