he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
