oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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