but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
