I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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