Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
