Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
