Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
