the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
