Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
