How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
