Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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