Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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