What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
