He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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