My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize