I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish i was in the wii world.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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