Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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