My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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