is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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