There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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