so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
