i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did I show you my penis last night?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
