pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
